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Preghiere Inutili

by Luke McGowan

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Ian Jack Lee
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Dexid
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1.
Cavatina: Schizo 07:22
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As the trains pass my window in an instant of light A perfect comparative two-dimensional fight And the sun as it flocks to farthest of roads An explosion of morning to soften the blow Of my alarm as it sounds as cherubim before And the collapse of all comfort in my head will endure From three drunken stupors three nights in a row I’ll take swings at my bedposts till I have nothing to show And the trains they will pass and that instance expired I’m not saying it’s perfect but thank god I was alive And I’ll be alive the next time it happens Three planes all conjoin over my head I swear it goddammit all passengers are dead And again the sun plays its tricks on me A fiery explosion over urban seas For a moment I verge on the brink of demise At varying altitudes everyone survives Who can really say that my mind wasn’t lost? For a moment I swore we were double-crossed God took those planes and told them not to fly In an instant you’re dead and the next you’re alive And I’ll be alive the next time you survive I want to live I want to die I want to smoke till my lungs turn to fire My brains turn to ash My heart will explode I want to live till I grow old I want to see you in the morning I want to see you lying in your grave I want to run I want to crawl I want to be blissful to a fault I want to love I want you to hold I want you to be there when I grow old I want to see you in the morning I want to see you lying in your grave Reading from the book of Revelation 20
2.
Recitative: Excuses and Liberations 04:44
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I am a passenger Your name is Rosemary You are beautiful My soliloquy And I will scream salutations for the first time in a while And you watch my exaltation with a subtle smile And I will fall in love with you I will fall in love with you What in the world could I do? The world will end. This is nothing new. I will fall in love with you I am irrational I am a monument I am so nervous I am so confident You will whisper common courtesy back to me I will shout I love you and you’ll fall asleep On the bus I am in love with you I am on the street At my mothers house You aren’t next to me I will cease to shout But I’ll remember you till the world explodes I’ll remember you till new life won’t grow I will stay in love with you. I will die in love with you.
3.
Aria Cavatina: Prophecy or the Will to Survive 03:39
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The stars are winking and twinkling And you are awake and alone For what should I owe this pleasure- To measure the worth of my own? And you will wake up in the morning With nocturnes still echoing from trance They’ll turn to canticle before bathing They’ll fade in the light in a glance The song that I wrote you is hardly enough To revel, admire or rename as love So if all I can do is fall through this black hole I’ll yield optimism and fall for your soul And my body will freeze. I love you Rosemary but I think you must know. I know exactly how all we love and loathe Will blow up and cease to exist as a whole. I will explain how we go The lord came to me and showed me the end With a grin on his face he said dearest friend There is no next. No hell or heaven Go tell the masses your information
4.
Scena de Il Nulla: Scenes from Nowhere 00:39
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5.
Continuo/Bella Canta: Damned (prelude)/Schizo (reprise) 03:31
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I want to live I want to die I want to smoke till my lungs turn to fire My brains turn to ash My heart will explode I want to live till I grow old I want to see you in the morning I want to see you lying in your grave I want to run I want to crawl I want to be blissful to a fault I want to love I want you to hold I want you to be there when I grow old I want to see you in the morning I want to see you lying in your grave
6.
Aria Cabaletta: Panic 03:14
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But your alive And I don’t want to be All these panic attacks make my conscience bleed Forget the pact that I told to my mom I won’t call her when the world seems to be wrong I’ll stay with this demon if he’ll stay with me I’m in hell I’m sure it’s a fact My body stiffens with each panic attack Every muscle I can name seizes and shakes Every noise in the house is a fucking earthquake I’ll stay with this demon if he’ll stay with me I must admit Sometimes it feels great Knowing I have no control over my fate The world will keep on spinning if I’m not alive Those planes could fall from heaven and I’d most likely survive So I’ll stay with this demon if he’ll stay with me
7.
Canzonetta- Damned 03:25
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But I can see the sun looming in my periphery Strength no wave can touch. Strength I cannot see I can feel the wind laughing in my face Tickling my skin Mocking my disgrace I’m disgraced I’m disgraced I’m disgraced
8.
Finale- False Redemption 02:14
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about

This album was originally written as part 1 of a rock opera entitled Cataract Morality. I lost a lot of steam after working on this for weeks and months and almost a year. It is about a nameless hero afflicted with schizophrenia who sees the world ending all around him in his delusions. When the end of the world is professed to him, it seems like a normal, or relatively normal delusion. As it was originally written as an opera of sorts, I deemed it appropriate to keep a loose, operatic structure.

This album was intended to be listened to in its entirety.

Thank you,
Luke McGowan

PS Listed below is the ordering of events as they were originally intended.

Day 1
Prelude
Revelation 20
First Movement: On the Bus
Second Movement: Before Bed
Third Movement: The Prophecy (Spoken Word)
Fourth Movement: Post Prophecy
Day 2
First Movement: A Conversation on Origin
Second Movement: The Beginning of the End
Third Movement: The Sermon at The Church of St. Dymphna
Fourth Movement: The Flooding of The Church of St. Dymphna
Postlude: Stuck in a Moment of Ecstasy

credits

released September 10, 2014

Phil Kenbok- vocals on Canzonetta- Damned
Zak Parinello- Upright Bass on Liberations

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Luke McGowan Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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